I'm not going to drone on about work. It was long hours and fun!
In the middle of it all Rob, Krystal and I made a mad dash for the valley of Illi.... Krystals home town and a reunification of family after a years absence. It was a 14 hour overnight bus ride. I've done my share of them in Australia, in varying states of discomfort.... sitting up for 14 hours is not what the spine was designed for. This trip was different! Gravity was taken out of the equation..... it was a sleeper bus.... very comfortable (if a little short).
We arrived in the morning of Chinese New Years Eve. Krystals family live about half an hours drive out of Yining City, a few kilometres from the imaginatively named Yining Town. I don't know for sure the name of the village.... but on the formula presented I'd suggest Yining Village No.1. OK, I'm going to take my tongue out of my cheek!
It was great to see the energy and enthusiasm that Krystal had to meet her family. She is a live wire! As soon as the Taxi pulled up, she leapt out and wrapped herself around her Father.... who actually looked quite perplexed. Strong displays of emotion in public are not the norm.... I think Krystal likes to fly in the face of convention for some things..... certainly not others..... I'll touch on that nerve in future blogs.
We spent the days in Illi relaxing and meeting her Uncles. It was quite easy to remember their names, as they are affectionately known as Uncle No1, Uncle No2 etc, etc.... I think you get the drift! Uncle No1 was outstanding! Picture a tall man, quite wiry in stature, but strong looking. He was always smiling and cheerful..... he wore a jaunty little driving cap.... had weather beaten, tan skin and NO FRONT TEETH!!!
He is a classic Chinese Mr McGillicuddy! He kept telling Rob...."England tries to bully China.... Soon we will be able to bully them back!".... A comforting bit of food for thought for those in power of Muvva Engwand...... 1.4 billion people pissed off at you is not a pretty thought!
I was a little concerned at what he knew of Australia's late start in the self righteousness business. He turned to me and smiled...."Audalia rides on the sheeps back!" Phew I got off lightly!! Then he pulled out a bottle of the Evil White Nectar and poured three shots.
Gamb¨¦! (Bottoms up!) Then another....and another.....schtill anoza..... Oh gosh um feewing jusha widda dwunk!!!
It got a whole lot worse from that point forward for five days. The Chinese are great hosts. You are never wanting of anything as their guest. Unfortunately this hospitality is matched by their tradition of drinking Baijiu...... it is considered rude to knock back the first three offers of the stuff. At 11am that is all it takes me to be completely stonkered..... A fine mist descended over the room in my mind! I slipped into the Baijiu Vacuous Stare of Inebriation I am now famous for. It is the monitoring signal to say "No more for Stu!!!!"
At some inebriated point in the afternoon, Uncles horse bolted, somehow getting from its confine out passed our window and through the gate to the street. I thought this might have represented a slight problem for Uncle No1, but he approached it in his usual comic way...... "In China, good luck comes when the horse runs away!"..... and off he trotted down the street to recover it. I stupidly followed..... considerably looser in my foot placement..... and managed to slip flat on my back on the ice at the base of the stairs...... gave my head a damn good whack!!!!..... didn't feel a thing!!
After the ringing left my ears, Rob and I indulged in some "zinger berries". Now I have no idea what their real name is.... but they use them in cooking. They are like a lemon peppercorn to look at.... taste mildly like that too..... and have a strange ability to feel like you've connected a 9 Volt battery to the tip of your tongue. They make your entire mouth numb, your taste buds salivate overtime and your tongue tingle with electricity. I hate the burn of chilli, but I love the sensation of what I've nicknamed "Zinger Berries".
The rest of the time in Illi, we loped around, reading, going for walks and drinking more Baijiu with visitors than was healthy. On the third day I got the China Belly!
I'd gone for three months without needing to use a squat loo. For those of you not familiar with Chinese bathroom facilities..... well, let's just say the Chinese don't DO bathrooms well..... The squat is at best a porcelain lined hole in the floor with a flusher unit, somewhat similar to a toilet as you know it.... just not raised and you definitely don't sit on it. At worst it is two planks, precariously perched in the dark over a hole in the ground full of...... well you get the picture! In the courtyard home of Krystals family.... it was the latter description to contend with!
At 3:20am I felt the rumbles of China Belly erupting. It wasn't going to be pretty!
It was well below zero outside.... I felt ill.... Off balance.... we've all been there at some time when travelling!
I'll write only one word so that nothing is lost in translation....
EXPLOSIVE!!!
It was about then that I wanted to go home to Karamay and the comforts of the apartment. I've been more comfortable in the Aussie bush. But I felt crook.... and didn't want to cause a fuss..... I endured the next few days. Really just sat around reading, going for the odd walk... observing the village life of the Hui People (Muslim Chinese).
I've lost this damn entry so many times it's all out of order! I should probably mention very briefly, that we were there for the Chinese New Year Celebrations. It was subdued fun in the small village.... but they love their fireworks!!!
Krystals brothers were chomping at the bit to let off the big momma that Rob had bought that day. Even her father, usually a serious man, was swept up in the excitement. We stood with our hands raised high to the night sky and let off Wizard Wands... Pretending we were casting magic spells as our sticks shot fire into the heavens. It was cool!!!
I also showed how different things are here in China for me.... Out of about 500 Jiao Zi (dumplings) I got two out of three lucky coins..... Sad ass Rob who needs to get out more, worked the odds of this occurring again as 17000:1.
I couldn't care to challenge the maths. All I know is China is a lucky place for me, so far.
We jumped the bus back to Karamay. Another overnight trip through the mountains.... rough... but comfortable! I listened to my CD Walkman all the way and slumbered to classical music and The Boss. Back to the grindstone of Winter Intensive....
Thankfully the Dragon's out of Steam now....
Drop by the Lair again soon....
